Being a Woman in a Patriarchal Society

WhatsApp sometimes brings up the most poignant messages. I got one a few days ago, and it read something like this: “Behind every strong woman lies a broken little girl who had to learn how to get back up and never depend on anyone.” I don’t know who originally wrote that message, but it struck a chord.

The patriarchal system we have grown up in gives more power and control to men. While we have seen some positive shifts in legal and social attitudes towards women’s empowerment in recent times, we still have a long way to go.

We still see numerous instances where patriarchal thinking fails to give equal opportunities to women. We see it in the unequal distribution of household tasks and in pre-defined gender roles. It is evident in the failure to talk about women’s achievements and in jumping to conclusions if a gender role at work or at home is reversed.

As a financial advisor, I come across clients who would rather not tell the male influence in their life about their financial decision for fear of being ridiculed or being advised that their decision is wrong, even though they may be more educated and qualified to make those decisions.

One such experience I had was when I met a lady who wanted to invest her money without her husband’s knowledge. When I asked her who she would like to nominate for her investments, her answer was, “my six-year-old daughter.”

I said, “Alright, but to make her a nominee you need to have a guardian as she is a minor.” She was silent for a moment, and then she asked me to drop by the next day.

When I met her at the appointed time, she said that she had to tell her husband about the investment since she would have to nominate him as the guardian. He had insisted that she make the investment with HDFC Bank. She knew that the returns in that plan were not as good. But she still had to go ahead with it, just to keep peace in the family.

The incident made me think about how the patriarchal system still runs so strong. A woman who is otherwise independent has to still go with her husband’s decisions (even after knowing that they are wrong).

The financial world is filled with products that are customized for women today. Be it bank accounts or even government financial schemes. As a financial planner I too try and customize my plans for women depending on their life goals and what they plan to do in the near, medium and long term. As financial planners we must realize that women have different needs and goals compared to men and look towards advising them accordingly.

For example, when I’m making a plan for a working woman who is about to get married or who is newly married, it is important to know if she plans to have children soon or a little later so that her plan can be customized in case, she plans to take a break in her career to take care of her child. In my opinion, no woman should be forced to make a choice between caring for her child and continuing her career, though unfortunately that is the reality of our culture even today.

While this way of thinking is changing, especially with the younger generation where a man and a woman run the household on an equal footing, we still have a long way from becoming an equal society, both financially and socially.