{"id":1596,"date":"2021-08-06T14:07:40","date_gmt":"2021-08-06T14:07:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/?p=1596"},"modified":"2021-08-06T14:07:40","modified_gmt":"2021-08-06T14:07:40","slug":"mind-your-language","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/2021\/08\/06\/mind-your-language\/","title":{"rendered":"Mind your language"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMind your language<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

I understand that \u201cBut\u201d<\/strong>. Most of us have encountered this sentence number of times while dealing with our clients. How does one get around it and help the client see what exactly we are trying to communicate with them? One of the aspects of NLP is to discover the internal experience that is elicited by the use of specific language. This enables us to use language in a very directed way to get the result we want. \u201cBut\u201d is one of the words worth paying attention to.\u00a0 Notice what happens to your internal experience when you take any two-sentence and connect them with \u201cbut\u201d and then repeat the same two-sentence in reverse order, again with \u201cbut\u201d in the middle. For example:<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree equity creates wealth in long term, but the volatility bothers me\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThe volatility bothers me, but I agree equity create wealth in long term\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

In both cases, the focus on the first sentence diminishes in some way, while the second sentence becomes your principal focus of attention. You can deal with the situation whenever someone uses the \u201cbut\u201d by reversing the uses of \u201cbut\u201d in a way that diminishes something that is important to you, and you want to emphasize it. The old joke illustrates this nicely:<\/p>\n

The mother says to the daughter \u201cI know he\u2019s ugly, but he is rich\u201d and the daughter replies, \u201cMother, you are so right. I know he is rich but he\u2019s ugly\u201d<\/p>\n

Knowing how \u201cbut\u201d diminishes part of a sentence, you can use it whenever you want to (or have to) mention something to someone, but you want to diminish in importance or even disappear from listeners awareness altogether. \u201c I know that the volatility bothers you, but you agree equity creates wealth in long term.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but-\u201c \u00a0When people say \u201cYes, but \u2013\u201c they briefly acknowledge what someone else said, followed by something that negates it. When people are cautious or wary, they often tend to respond defensively and oppose whatever you say and find a problem with it, no matter how sensible your suggestion might be. \u201cYes, I can see that, but there is a problem with it\u201d<\/p>\n

Once someone is focused on a problem, it is easy to get \u201ctunnel vision\u201d and forget the reason for noticing and thinking about problems is so that you can find a way to solve them and make a proposal work. Reversing the focus can get the discussion back on track. \u201cYes, I can see there is a problem, but the proposal still has a lot of potentials,\u201d direct the listener\u2019s attention away from the problem and back towards the larger focus of the potential of the proposal as a whole.<\/p>\n

The more you know how language works, it will help you connect with your clients better. Given below are a few examples you may use in your practice:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Avoid using technical language. Use more of \u201cYou\u201d language and instead of \u201cClient\u201d. For example, when you are doing Client Risk analysis \u2013 You may say this is specific for us to understand what levels of risk you are willing to take.<\/li>\n
  • Use the word financial goals less frequently \u2013 Most people have a negative feeling about goal setting process that failed in the past or sales goals pressed on them at different career positions they had. Instead ask them what aspirations\/dreams, hopes\/wishes they have for the future.<\/li>\n
  • During the discovery process, while we try to understand their beliefs and behaviours which can be construed as we are going to judge those beliefs\/their behaviours, we may say that we want to gain an understanding of their perspective or preferences to craft our recommendation.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Coming back to \u201cbut\u201d\u2026 try using \u201cand\u201d instead of \u201cbut\u201d. But split our experience and divides our attention. In the sentence \u201cI agree equity creates wealth in long term and the volatility bothers me\u201d. <\/strong>Replacing \u201cbut\u201d with \u201cand\u201d makes a huge difference. And connects experiences together, allowing us to think of both parts of the sentence simultaneously. Replacing \u201cbut\u201d with \u201cand\u201d may seem like a ridiculously trivial change, but it\u2019s very easy to do both in yourself and with others, it can have a very powerful effect.<\/p>\n

    The limits of my language are the limits of my world. \u2013 Ludwig Wittgenstein<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      \u201cMind your language\u201d   I understand that \u201cBut\u201d. Most of us have encountered this sentence number of times while dealing with our clients. How does one get around it and help the client see what exactly we are trying […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":70,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[70],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-members-articles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1596","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/70"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1596"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1596\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fpstudycircle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}